Review – Grudge Match

Everyone loves a good comeback. Robert Downey Jr. swapped a cocaine addiction for an Iron Man trilogy. Micky Rourke emerged from years of obscurity, banged Marisa Tomei on-screen, and then subsequently faded back into obscurity. People love to see stars of old make triumphant returns to the silver screen, get bathed in critical praise, do the Oscar walk, and get played out in an emotional but baffling acceptance speech. Sure, it’s heart warming stuff when it happens, but its equally as depressing watching former heavyweights flounder horribly in an attempt at relevance. Enter Grudge Match.

Grudge Match pits Robert DeNiro and Sylvester Stallone together in a half-assed, patchwork flick about two old boxing rivals trying to hit the heights of their more formative years. Now unfit and haggard, our two stars are living ordinary lives when promoter Dante Slate Jr. (Kevin Hart) convinces them to get back in the ring and fight each other one final time. The only problem is, no one gives a damn about these two has-beens anymore, and its up to them to try and attract a bigger audience.

Almost all of Grudge Match is poorly executed, and none of it is very funny despite it obviously wanting to be. What plays out is a long and lazy film that never really finds its footing. The entire thing stinks of cheap, and the writing is so threadbare that even someone as charismatic as De Niro finds himself in no man’s land. Stallone plays the part with an interesting wounded timidness, but I might be mistaking that for the fact that he can barely move his face anymore. Alan Arkin spends the whole time reminding people he’s old and the writers have a field day with that flaccid through-line.

If there’s anything to take away from Grudge Match it’s the belated final fight scene. Watching De Niro and Stallone go head to head in the ring is actually entertaining stuff. But it comes little to late and is nowhere near enough to make Grudge Match worth it. De Niro and Stallone haven’t been relevant for awhile, and for now the comeback is well and truly on hold.

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bQSOBJCPQE&w=400]