10 Quick Qs – Dixie Longate: My Bags Went Where? (USA)

1. Describe your show Twitter style, 140 characters or less:

The airlines lost my bags, so I weave hysterical tales instead. America’s favorite bogan superstar has got you covered for laughs.

2. On first dates, is there a lot of pressure to be funny?

I’m usually too busy having sex to notice. If someone is in front of me with his pants off and I am laughing, then usually that first date is also the last.

3. Why did you become a comedian?

It was either this or a stripper and let’s be honest, as someone that lives in the lower rent area of town (Or as you call it, “bogan”) people don’t make as much money and when they throw, it hurts.

4. Is heckling allowed?

I like it when people play along, but when people try to heckle and derail the show, it is pretty annoying not just for me but for the audience too. There is a reason that my name is on the poster and the heckler’s name isn’t.

5. What would you like named after you – a planet, stadium, street, city, a comedy festival or something else? And why?

I want my name on a building. I was in Dallas, Texas and Mary Kay, the skin care giant, has her name in giant pink letters on the side of her corporate headquarters. That was the coolest thing I had ever seen. I hope to have my name on a building someday, even if it is stuck on a piece of paper with gum to the door.

6. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Not in prison!

7. Funniest youtube video you’ve ever seen?

This baby laughing still brightens my day. I play it any time I am feeling moody. It always picks me up.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HttF5HVYtlQ&w=400]

8. Why would someone not come to see your show?

Because they are so exhausted from our first date the night before. I love the Aussie people and the men in Melbourne are amongst the sexiest I have ever witnessed. I feel sort of like an ambassador from the US. I want to reach out and touch as many people in Australia as I can. If most of them are men, well, then that is just lucky for them, isn’t it?

9. You’re stranded on a deserted island… If you could teleport any person to be with you, who would it be? And why?

It would have to be a lesbian. There could be just a coconut and a fish carcass and a lesbian could fashion it into a satellite that would communicate with NASA to pin point our exact coordinates and then send it to a naval fleet which could dispatch a vessel to chart our location and pick us up and have us on the mainland by happy hour. If you have a lesbian on your side, you are always safe.

10. Besides your show, what’s your pick at the festival?

I have so many friends that I made last year and have loved so many shows, but I think what I would suggest seeing a small show in a little venue that you have never heard of before. It is always those new comedians who are trying so hard who just need an audience to hear their voice. We all started somewhere. You might find a remarkable person on the schedule playing behind a dumpster 3 shows a night who will totally light your fire. You just have to risk it. And if you don’t like it, hell, at least you have had the experience and you can go to dinner afterwards and talk about how you would have done it differently and then sign up to play next year’s festival and then damn, your life would change forever. So see, if you experience something completely new and different, then you might end up being a giant stand up comedian that changes the world.