Review – The Sexy Detectives: High Status Idiots

A constipated rat with haemorrhoids could have presented far more entertainment than the drivel presented by the Sexy Detectives on Saturday. The show consisted of a series of skits, each terminated by a bell sound activated by a deaf mute with the comedic timing of a sloth – there were times when the actors were frozen in place for several seconds waiting to be released by the bell. This agony was then followed by applause from a dozen or so polite members from the crowd of forty.

The best laughs came from a squeaky kitchen door that interrupted proceedings, which on each occasion yielded nervous relief. When the furniture provides more laughs than the performers you know it’s a bad show: it generally lacked the essential ingredients of comedy – like timing, eloquence, jokes, wit, skill and je ne sais quoi. Certainly, these three didn’t know when to stop.

Take the skit that started with Michael Griffin pretending to call a workmate, “Hi Betty? It’s Al here. Can you call me back when you get this message? And Betty, when you call me you can call me Al.” There was a snigger in the crowd. We got the joke. Ding. But no! They went on to call Betty back and say “Betty, can you disregard that last message?” What on earth did that second line add? It ruined a quick laugh.

Most of the show was like that: simply too long, with gems hidden in mud. It must have been new material because in the first few skits there were long pauses where lines were forgotten or even repeated without realising it. And even when they got it right they didn’t realise it wasn’t very funny. Now the material has been tested one can only hope they cut thirty minutes from the show to improve it.

David Massingham was the only star of the performance. Whereas the other two merely recited lines, Massingham actually acted. He knew his material, has skills in timing, spoke clearly without shouting unnecessarily, was animated and enthusiastically took on his roles like he knew what he was doing. He will go far in his comedy acting career. The only real laughs of the show were in the last sketch where he presented an excellent monologue that began with “If you are watching this now then I am dead.” Whilst the Sexy Detectives as a threesome certainly are dead, Massingham has great prospects. His style is reminiscent of Jim Carrey or Rowan Atkinson – that overacting flamboyance that comes from confidence in ones ability to entertain through talent, intelligence and elocutionary excellence. Given that he does not perform in a number of the skits it’s a shame his skills were not utilised more. But if they were, we would have the Chief Inspector and the Two Stooges rather than the three Sexy Detectives.