10 Quick Qs – Elf Lyons

1. What, where, when and how much?

It’s on a 7.30pm at The Producers Cranny from tonight until the 27th of Feb (not the 23rd).

2. Describe your show Twitter style, 140 characters or less:

It’s a sincere voluptuous fast-paced intimate talcum powdered comedy show involving sharks, live arousal and it’s very funny.

3. A quote/moment that stands out from your show?

There is a live striptease in space involving talcum powder and crutches. I also do an impression of an Iguana.

4. Is heckling allowed?

Heckling of support I would not demonise, but if you choose to heckle, be prepared to be destroyed. I am the annihilator of negativity. I’m like Barbie, but with a more healthy Body Mass Index.

5. What is your role in the show?

I am the court-jester on stage.
(writer, director, comedian, all-round-nut)

6. What do you want to be when you grow up?

I’d really really love to be a mermaid.
If I can’t do that, I’ll go into organised crime, and perhaps open up my own comic-book store as my cover-up job.
OR I’ve ALWAYS wanted to open up my own Burlesque and seafood restaurant nightclub. I want to call it ‘FISH n NIPS’.

7. If you could put on (or be in) any show/band in the world, which one would it be?

I would love to grind on stage with Samuel T. Herring, the lead singer of Future Islands. I think we have similar dance styles. I would also love to perform in a performance-art dance piece with Shia LeBeof to a Taylor Swift song. I think that would be BEAUTIFUL.

8. Why would someone not come see your show?

If they were afraid of being aroused, allergic to fun, or a Panda.

9. In your opinion, what is the worst show/movie you’ve ever seen and why?

I once watched a porn film called Sheepless in Seatle and it was set in an abattoir.
The WORST set-design I have ever seen in a film, and the script was appalling. The actors were definitely untrained as well. Poor cinematography.
I gave it one star on Amazon.

10. Besides your show, what’s your pick for the Fringe/Garden?

Well, after you’ve come and seen my show I’d TOTES recommend seeing my girl TAMAR BROADBENT at The Producers with her show ‘All by my Selfie’. On top of that I recommend seeing Dan Lee’s show, Matthew Highton’s show and also seeing ALL the shows at The Producers bar. There is a talented group performing there and they need audiences!